I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
