Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
