Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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