Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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