Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
