...so i touched it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
