In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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