Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize