She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
