My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize