new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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