Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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