I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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