How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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