I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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