do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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