Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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