Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
