Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
