Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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