I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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