don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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