i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
