those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
