she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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