i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
