I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
