oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
