How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
