Screwed.edu
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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