do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
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He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
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I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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