i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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