dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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