bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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