At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
