Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
