Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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