We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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