Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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