We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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