You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
