When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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