After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
