Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize