You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
