It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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