i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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