I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
