Im at strip club and am horny
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
