her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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