OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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