And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
