I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
