just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
