Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The Olympian is in my bed
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
