I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
