Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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