...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
