I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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